Stalked - About Stalkers

Stalked

About Stalkers

Who Are The Stalkers?

Forensic psychologists who have studied stalkers generally divide them into four general categories. Each stalker is different and may show signs from different categories.

1) Simple Obsessional

Thought to be the most common, in this kind of stalking, the stalker generally has a previous relationship with his victim. The relationship could be marriage, a romance, a friendship, a date, a co-worker, an employee, etc. Remember "Fatal Attraction"? Glen Close played a simple obsessional stalker. In "Sleeping With The Enemy", Julia Roberts was married to a simple obsessional stalker. They can be dangerous - don't let the word "simple" fool you!

These stalkers, being the most common, are also the most well studied. They are known to be generally immature, socially incompetent and unable to maintain relationships, jealous, insecure, paranoid, feel helpless and powerless, and have very low self esteem. If your stalker says, "You are my life," you should believe it. He thinks so little of himself that he believes literally that he is nothing without you. Because of this reasoning, he will often go to extreme measures to see to it that he gets you.

2)Love Obsessional

The stalking cases that make the news are the most dramatic and the most bizarre. When most people think of stalking, they think of John Hinkley shooting the President to impress Jodie Foster. John Bardo stalked the actress Rebecca Shaffer and shot her dead in 1989, and as a direct result, California passed the first stalking laws. Other states followed suit.

Those are examples of love obsessional stalkers. The good news is that they are reported to be only about a fourth as common as simple obsessional cases. The bad news is that the vast majority of these cases are ordinary people and not celebrities at all. That means that, yes, it could happen to you. If you thought you couldn't be stalked by a crazy stranger because you aren't famous, you were wrong.

Love obsessional stalkers tend to be persistent in their pursuit of their victims. These stalkers fantasize about the victim being a romantic partner, and when that fantasy clashes with reality, the stalker often tries harder and harder to get noticed. Increasingly drastic means may ensue. Negative or positive attention may not matter, as long as their victim notices and in noticing, becomes a part of the stalker's life.

3) Erotomania

Related to love obsessional is erotomania. These cases are usually women who actually believe that the victim knows and loves them. David Letterman had a woman who broke into his house and stole his car, and she insisted that she was Mrs. Letterman every time she was caught. She eventually committed suicide. These stalkers are characterized by mental problems including delusions. They truly believe that their fantasies are true. Less is known about these stalkers than the other types because they are often treated for their other mental problems rather than for the stalking behavior itself.

4) False Victimization Syndrome

In these very frustrating cases, the stalker may believe that he is the victim. Sometimes he even reports his victim to the police as having stalked him.

In these cases, the true stalker is usually the one who initiated contact, although this is not always so. In all cases, the stalker holds the victim in very high regard and will consciously or unconsciously imitate his victim's style, speech, dress, and habits. Some stalkers go so far as to buy a house with the same floor plan, trade in a car for a model like the victim's, or even make a career change to the victim's chosen profession. The stalker will rationalize his behavior by saying, "I can do it better". In reality, this kind of stalker suffers from a severe lack of self esteem. He feels very inferior to the victim whom he admires greatly, although he will rarely admit this to be true. These stalkers, believing themselves to be inferior to, or wronged or rejected by the ones they admire most, begin harassing and following the victims, spreading tales, keeping tabs, and in many instances plotting revenge. Very frequently these are same-sex stalkers.

In false victimization syndrome, the stalker is extremely manipulative. Very frequently he convinces himself and others that the victim is the one at fault, when in truth the victim frequently would have had no contact with or knowledge of the stalker if the stalker had not begun a campaign against him. Often the victim is reported to the authorities for defending himself from the stalker. You may hear from this stalker things like, "You are your own stalker" or, "You only know one side of the story." Frequently delusional and always irrational, when presented with the facts, this stalker will rationalize and manipulate everything he can and ignore even a direct question, in order to preserve his fantasy of being the victim. He will initiate conflicts and then twist them in his favor in an attempt to gain positive attention for himself. He wants, in a nutshell, to be like his victim and when he feels that he does not measure up, his motive is to bring his victim down. Sometimes this means merely trying to ruin his victim's reputation by spreading lies and rumors. Other times, this means murder.

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